can i leave it all?

4/14/2009

i took my time in costa rica a bit for granted.
i want to be there so bad right now,
actually i want to be anywhere but here.

i wish i was sitting on the el alto bus, making my way to downtown in the middle of a hot summer downpour.
i would be sitting right next to the window to make sure i didn't miss anything through the foggy windows but hoping that no one took the seat next to me.

it's not just costa rica that i miss,
i miss the people i lived with.
maybe they didn't understand me 100%, but i at least i felt like sometimes they did... that always meant the world to me.
they believed in me, my crazy ideas and dreams, and didn't just laugh and say " oh nelly, what a unique phase you're going through.." when i shared my heart with them.

i sorta wish i could gather what little things i own and just leave this place
and start over somewhere new.
somewhere where no one knows me or will know me for a while.
maybe i will one day... im not sure yet.